The Grooming Process
Steps Offenders Take To Set-up Children
Seek Out Approachable Children:
Offenders usually select children who are readily available to them – i.e. relatives, friends, and neighbors. They focus on children who have emotional needs for friendship and attention.
“I took advantage of a child who was taught to always obey and trust adults.”
“I molested children who craved attention from a caring adult.”
Establish Relationship with child:
Offenders find ways to build up trust and friendship with children.
“I would take her to the movies and buy a lot of candy.”
“I would play his favorite games with him – I became his buddy.”
Break Down the Child’s Resistance to Touch:
Offenders find ways to touch the child a lot. As a result, the child is often unaware or confused when the touch becomes sexual.
“I would get him to play games, like wresting, where we had a lot of physical contact.”
“I would always pick her up and put her on my lap.”
“I would tickle her so I could sneak touches in her private parts.”
Find Ways to Isolate Child:
Offenders find excuses to be alone with children so they can molest them.
“I would offer to babysit for her anytime.”
“I invited him to go camping with me.”
Blame the Child and Keep the Secret:
Offenders try to make the child feel responsible so she won’t tell.
“I told her, ‘you know you like the way I touch you.’”
“If you tell, people will think you are bad.”
“I told my step-son if he told our ‘special secret,’ I would go to jail.”
“If you tell your mother, she won’t love you”
**Source: Parents United
