The Grooming Process
Steps Offenders Take To Set-up Children
Seek out approachable children
Offenders usually select children who are readily available to them – i.e. relatives, friends, and neighbors. They focus on children who have emotional needs for friendship and attention.
- “I took advantage of a child who was taught to always obey and trust adults.”
- “I molested children who craved attention from a caring adult.”
Establish relationship with child
Offenders find ways to build up trust and friendship with children.
- “I would take her to the movies and buy a lot of candy.”
- “I would play his favorite games with him – I became his buddy.”
Break down the child’s resistance to touch
Offenders find ways to touch the child a lot. As a result, the child is often unaware or confused when the touch becomes sexual.
- “I would get him to play games, like wresting, where we had a lot of physical contact.”
- “I would always pick her up and put her on my lap.”
- “I would tickle her so I could sneak touches in her private parts.”
Find ways to isolate the child
Offenders find excuses to be alone with children so they can molest them.
- “I would offer to babysit for her anytime.”
- “I invited him to go camping with me.”
Blame the child and keep the secret
Offenders try to make the child feel responsible so she won’t tell.
- “I told her, ‘you know you like the way I touch you.’”
- “If you tell, people will think you are bad.”
- “I told my step-son if he told our ‘special secret,’ I would go to jail.”
- “If you tell your mother, she won’t love you”
**Source: Parents United
